“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. 10. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11. knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (Titus 3:9-11). Such good advice and yet few accept it with open hearts. Most read or hear it, agree with it in principle, but soon forget the words and do all they were told not to. We love the unprofitable and worthless. They are like “fixes” to a drug addict. We search them out and then ingest them with glee, allowing ourselves to become slaves to controversies and quarrels.
We “stand our ground” as we fight to be correct in entirely senseless arguments. But we must because our better-knowing spiritual self capitulates to the earthly desire to win silly quarrels. And for what exactly? Is the fleeting pleasure of saying, “I told you so,” or the satisfaction of hearing the other person squirm in defeat actually worth it? Do you know what that is like for me? I think of a person sitting in an office chair with a notepad in front of him. Bored, they look around and see a fan above them. It is not spinning, and a thought crosses their mind they simply have to give in to. Suddenly work, school, or whatever else they were doing is cast aside as the challenge to throw up a piece of paper and make it land on top of the fan blade overtakes them.
The first piece of crumbled-up paper falls woefully short of the target, but not to worry; there are plenty more sheets of paper to try with. The second, fourth, tenth and twentieth ones never reach the target, go too far, or land on the blade only to roll off the other side. Eventually, with sheets of crumbled-up paper lying everywhere, one lands on the blade. The world seems to slow down, and the “ball” of paper rolls toward the edge, stopping just short of falling off. Victory! The person lets out a shriek of delight, but the feeling is gone seconds later. All that is left is for them to wonder what beseeched them to waste 10 minutes trying to do something that ultimately has no point and only resulted in a fleetingly hollow victory.
Sadly, such meaningless endeavors happen all too often in churches worldwide. Listen, there are debates worth having – like the purpose of elders versus deacons versus ministers or the validity of singing every verse of a song. They are interesting and, when conducted with respect, can lead to much enlightenment, but some are entirely meaningless. Where someone prefers to sit is a molehill not worth dying on. If that person was texting or taking notes on their phone is another. If it will not clarify, edify, or educate, let it go. I remember many years ago an elder standing up in a men’s meeting saying something to the effect of, “I am an elder, my daddy was an elder, and my granddaddy was an elder. I have lineage, so I have authority.” Needless to say, that caused quite a heated discussion that even resulted in some leaving the church.
Another time, the name of the church was being decided on. Most people wanted it to be called by its location, but one lady, who happened to be very wealthy, insisted on it being called by the name of her choosing. Opinions turned into disagreement, disagreements spiraled into quarreling, and quarreling spiraled even further into fighting, albeit non-physical. After weeks of divisive rhetoric, animosity grew amongst the warring parties, and, unfortunately, the result was more people leaving. Whether ill-thought-out tirades or selfish desires overcoming peaceable debate, one can see how quickly people will become involved in contentious issues. Some issues are worth fighting for, but many are just unprofitable and worthless wastes of time. Choose the hill you are prepared to fight and die on carefully. Pro. 26:4, “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”
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